Are men and women really relationship idiots?

If, as Thoreau claimed: “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation” –then what sort of lives are the mass of women leading?

While enjoying quite a nice little mind vacation from nearly all things internet/online, this morning I ventured a peak at my email –just in case I’d missed anything of life and death import only to discover that someone had indeed been “born”–literally–and a friend’s link to an essay online which apparently points directly to the dominance/power/control/etc mentality that makes relationships HELL for many westerners. Considering how such “Hell on Earth” has the potential to fuel various incarnations of violence, I think that qualifies as of “death” import. Now, the significance of sharing news of another human birth is fairly self-evident for most folks, so I decline to comment further on said new mammalian arrival. As to the import of the other piece of information received via cyberspace mail services–well, its value rests on the stew it started stirring as I composed my response to the sharer of this little missive.  Apparently relationships between women and men are doomed due to the blind acceptance of cultural conditioning of certain myths involving plays for power between the genders.  I’m wondering how much “truth” regarding male/female relationships others might find in “This is not the Berenstain Bears bedtime story” by Jon Poindexter posted in full here:

Do men and women really make each other miserable, depressed and seriously angry via blindly accepted cultural mores that have nothing to do with reality? Or are there real struggles for dominance and control in relationships upon which the “myths” Poindexter lists? Is this sort of intense gender warfare that fuels the violence against women which seems to be rampant globally? Yes, globally. If anyone knows of a place where women do not experience violence, rape, torture, and murder, please don’t hesitate to advertise this oasis.
Where am I going with this random brain drop? I’m not quite certain beyond how I’ve considered my own experiences and obesrvations in the fields of human interactions in relation to this “control” game playing. But what might be of import is where the rest of you go with the mental bait.
Now back to my unscheduled reading agenda.
  Please pass the prune danish.


  1. penpusherpen said,

    March 17, 2013 at 1:12 pm

    ’tis indeed, mental bait, methinks, Eva, I was on the same wavelength, (sort of) …. passing the prune Danish now…Good to catch up.. xPenx

    • March 18, 2013 at 3:24 pm

      Well hello there, Lady Pen! Good to see your ink here. Interested in your version of the wavelength.
      Thanks for sharing the Danish. Tea or coffee with yours?

      • penpusherpen said,

        March 18, 2013 at 3:41 pm

        Oooh!! Coffee methinks, Eva…. wakes up my brain cells., 😉 and boy oh boy do they need a prod… xx

  2. March 17, 2013 at 11:53 pm

    hello 47whitebuffalo its dennis the vizsla dog hay it seems wunse agin that hyoomans cud lern a thing or too frum us dogs kayse in poynt their is no struggling for dominanse among us dogs heer!!! trixie is in chardj and evrybuddy nos it!!! hay is a prune daynish ennything like a donut??? tucker wood like to no if he can hav wun!!! ok bye

    • March 18, 2013 at 3:27 pm

      Cheers dennis. I agree wholeheartedly that humans could learn a great deal from dogs–and the rest of our animal relatives. Trixie keeps you all on your toes quite nicely. Yep, tucker sure can have a prune Danish. It’s much yummier than a donut–and there’s no bad chocolate in it either.

  3. March 18, 2013 at 1:02 am

    Great to have you back Eva! Yes, relationships are difficult and it is a wonder in this Tweeting world that any of them makes it. I remember Joseph Campbell writing a few things about the power of the earth goddess getting usurped by the hunters. Often it feels like we aren’t that far removed from the caveman days.

    • March 18, 2013 at 3:35 pm

      LOL–am I back? Hmm, Al, I’m not so sure how “back” I am–yet. But thank you for the warm welcome. I’m not sure Campbell got everything right on the nail but I do think there’s some validity to much of his thinking.
      As for the cavemen–the little dabbling I’ve done recently regarding “ancient man” has me thinking that we’re NOT at all as different from them as we like to think. We’ve just got different toys/tools than they had. “Different” is the operative word. Not necessarily “better” tools–just different. Looking at the world at large with all its very negative issues, I have serious doubts that these times are any better at all than those who came before us. There’s my two Danish for the moment. 🙂

  4. roos said,

    March 22, 2013 at 9:44 pm

    me do not like this black and white thinking of man this woman that.
    i am a woman and i can think like a man i know a man and he can think like a woman. (this is not danish but double dutch)

  5. March 28, 2013 at 10:34 pm

    It isn’t men and women…. it’s people.

    Good people, who are not screwed up in the head, who are wise enough to marry the same have little or no trouble. They are in the minority everywhere, of course. All in all humans are an embarrassing species. There is no mystery about it. No “magic” about good relationships. They happen to good people because good people understand that relationships are 100/100 not 50/50. Ass holes think good relationships “just Happen” with luck.

    The secret to a good relationship is therefor…. Don’t be, or, marry an ass hole.

    I hope that helps
    Best regards
    Mrs. N.

  6. WordsFallFromMyEyes said,

    March 29, 2013 at 9:10 am

    Prune Danish? I’ve never heard of such horror!!

    Love this – intellectual but interesting. Re an oasis: my place. I’m single, and not at risk of violence, rape, torture, murder.


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