Breakfast Special, fourth helping, “People?! Really now . . .” , #4

June 26, 2013 at 2:50 pm (creative writing, culture, entertainment, exploring interconnectedness, fiction, humor, life, literary fiction, music, play, publishing, random, Uncategorized, Writing)
Tags: "People?! Really now . . . ", #4, blind date, Breakfast Special, creative writing, dating, family, fiction, fourth helping, humor, Joan Osborne, love, love story, men, music, random, romance, set up, Son of A Preacher Man, women, work in progress, Writing

People?! Really now…

Midway down the stairs, Sarge completed his inventory by sight and sound of the presence of every person in the brownstone. Another man would have been cheered by the sight of the very pretty, leggy blonde woman admiring his mother’s collection of antique serving platters displayed on the rich mahogany hutch. At another point in time, Sarge would have gleefully set forth to get into her good graces early in the evening in order insure a mutually satisfying scenario elsewhere much later. But tonight his heart sank knowing that yet again another young woman, perfectly fine in her own right, had been coaxed here to meet a man who might be just right for her, but who knew himself that he certainly was anything but.

The veritable flood of small children and everything hauled along for their nurturing provided ample cover for Sarge as he made his way carefully through the crowd created by the presence of all Nora and Dylan’s offspring, their mates and spawnings under one roof at the same time. Dutifully he exchanged hugs and polite kisses until he arrived at a corner in the dining room where he could settle in relative comfort with his back to the wall and a clear view of any further oncoming assaults on his person by his mother, or anyone else for that matter.

Catching sight of the day’s paper resting in the magazine holder, Sarge promptly put it to use as a means of showing his attention was occupied. It wasn’t long before he caught his mother glaring at him from the front room. He waited for her to come forth and remove the offensive text from his hands but she did not. But it wasn’t long after that the pretty blonde in the very classy blue dress appeared on the chair next to his as if on cue. “Anything good in the news?” she purred.

When he made eye contact with her sparkling baby blues she smiled and held out her hand while introducing herself as Debbie from Martine. Considering that absolute politeness was the best course at the moment, Sarge managed to respond in kind. “As for any good news, well does the entertainment section count?”

Debbie giggled a little then flicked the newspaper with her fingertips. “Irene said you had a sense of humor.”

“Oh she did, did she? Well, Irene is one very sly little minx so it must be true.” Sarge made a show of turning to the entertainment pages as if he was doing so for Debbie’s amusement.

“I guess she is rather sly.” Debbie laughed a soft little laugh that made Sarge look at her with curiosity. “She didn’t even drop a hint about you being very good-looking.” Debbie completed her sentence with a light fingernail tap to Sarge’s recently sheared chin. He noticed that her nail polish matched the blue of her dress.

Watching Debbie’s blue hued nails coyly play at the edges of the newspaper lying open on the table, Sarge briefly admired the clearly professional paint job. Then his thoughts turned to another woman’s fingers, a smaller hand with unpainted nails using toast to break egg yolks. Leaning over the entertainment section, he scanned the contents in genuine earnest until he found the little rectangle festooned with archaic curlie cued lettering announcing the upcoming performances of Ben Jonson’s Volpone, the Fox at the Orpheum Theatre. Sarge slid the paper closer towards Debbie. “Do you know anything about this play?”

Debbie glanced at the text Sarge pointed at. “Not a thing. Sorry. But I did see a performance of Joseph and his coat at church last week.” She smiled brightly at him displaying a perfect set of very white teeth.

“Yeah, I don’t think that’s the same sort of thing though.” He debated with himself for a moment. “What do you read, Debbie?”

“Oh I read People magazine all the time. Haven’t missed an issue since it first came out. And my bible, of course. Every day for a half hour. What about you? What do you read, Sarge? Besides the newspaper, of course.”

Without the slightest hesitation, Sarge said, “Porn. Every chance I get. I read all the porn I can lay my hands on.” Seeing Debbie lean back a little and her smile fade, he pressed onward. “Do you have any idea what you can learn about human anatomy from pornography? Debbie it’s totally mind-blowing the things a woman’s body can do. Have you ever …”

~~~~~

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